Genetically Modified Alfalfa

This topic seems to be kind of a “hot button” topic in the horse world these days.  Now aside from the obvious concerns with respect to health and potential side effects of feeding anything genetically modified whatever – does anyone else feel like we’re in the beginning of a bad horror movie?  The plot is obvious – a socially awkward, but lovable, scientist successfully modifies alfalfa seeds to the supposed benefit of the farmer (he can now spray for weeds without killing the crop) and at no harm or risk to the animals fed the alfalfa.  But what our lovable scientist doesn’t know is that the organism he genetically modified is mutating! At an alarming rate!  Pretty soon, the farmer (let’s call him Bob) gets up at 4am to start his day, just like he does every other day; he walks outside to check his crops only to find his alfalfa field completely devoid of any alfalfa stalks!  It looks like someone came in the middle of the night and, with the help of an uber-industrial sized vacuum cleaner (compliments of Wile E Coyote and the good people at Acme), sucked up the entire alfalfa population.  But what really happened was the alfalfa stalks had mutated to a point where they could walk, communicate telepathically, and were so dissatisfied with their lot in life that they decided to hammer out a plan for global domination, which will go in to effect immediately after they exact their revenge on their creator.  The alfalfa stalks quickly gather up their brethren from neighboring fields (because, as organic farmers feared, cross pollination did occur) and march on the lovable scientists laboratory.  Cue dramatic music with a heavy marching beat and the stage is set for our protagonist: none other than Chuck Norris outfitted with a rig full of napalm and a flame thrower with which he intends to take out the marching alfalfa. 

As the last alfalfa stalk lies there, smoldering, slowly dying, he whispers “Monsantoooooo…..” and spasms once more before going to that great field in the sky.  Thus leaving the ending open for a new beginning in the form of a sequel where Monsanto and a team of scientists try to perfect the work the lovable scientist started with genetically modified organisms.  And like every bad horror movie series, the villains just get bigger and badder.  If you’re like me, you don’t want to dwell on this because walking, telepathic alfalfa is enough!

So to sum up, the (possible) effects of ingesting genetically modified organisms has not been fully explored and I, for one, will not be feeding potentially telepathic alfalfa to my horse – unless it could make him telepathic and we could have conversations.  Unfortunately there’s no way to guarantee that outcome, and besides, I’m not telepathic (at least I’m not yet, I’m working on it though) so I maintain my “anti” stance on the genetically modified alfalfa issue.